


Don't Go

by Aeradae



Series: Cullrian One-shots [1]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-19
Updated: 2015-07-19
Packaged: 2018-04-10 02:24:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4373609
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aeradae/pseuds/Aeradae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cullen asks Dorian to spend the night with him for the first time, and the response isn’t quite what he anticipated.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Don't Go

**Author's Note:**

> Prompt #32: I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified. Written for Cullrian Prompt Saturday on Tumblr  
> Song inspiration: Josh Groban - When You Say You Love Me (I most definitely did not tear up a little while listening to this song and writing this piece *coughs*)

Dorian couldn’t sleep. Too many thoughts raced through his distracted mind to allow him to fall into the deep slumber his body craved. He willed himself to relax, for his mind to empty, but he knew it was a battle he would lose. He uttered a quiet groan and wearily pressed his palms against his eyelids.

Cullen shifted beside him with a soft sigh, burying his face against Dorian’s neck and pulling him closer. Dorian found himself craving even more contact with Cullen’s warm body, his slender fingers curling around the callused ones resting on Dorian’s bare chest. Giving up on rest for the time being, he contented himself with watching his lover sleep. The moonlight streaming through the hole in the roof cast him in a soft glow, causing his golden hair to glimmer faintly. The lines of worry and fatigue that could normally be found on Cullen’s face had been smoothed away during his peaceful slumber. He was too breathtakingly beautiful, too perfect, for words.

 _Don’t go_ , he had whispered into Dorian’s hair earlier that evening as they lounged in each others’ arms after making passionate love, trading lazy kisses and fond caresses. _Stay with me. Please_. Staring into Cullen’s golden eyes, so full of warmth and affection, Dorian hadn’t been able to even attempt to leave.

He wasn’t used to lingering in his lover’s bed after sex. A brief few moments were usually spared to catch his breath and return his heartbeat to normal before he was searching for the pieces of his scattered clothing. If he was lucky he received a light embrace or a swift kiss goodbye before he was out the door, never to been seen again. Being asked to spend the night… that was simply unheard of.

_I’m not worthy of this wonderful man. He’s strong and determined, thoughtful and kind. He has won the hearts and loyalty of nearly everyone in the Inquisition. I honestly don’t think there is anything he can’t accomplish. I have tried so hard to gain their approval, but I can barely get anyone to see beyond my Tevinter heritage. I’m just a burden slowing him down, dampening his potential. He’s going to realize one day that I am nothing but a damaged husk of a man, broken beyond repair, and that there is no hope that I can be fixed. And then… then he will move on, find someone more suitable. Where will that leave me? Alone. Again. Maker, I’m so tired of being alone…_

Dorian whimpered as tears formed behind his closed eyelids. His heart clenched painfully at the dark path his thoughts were taking. He had to choke back a sob as the tears escaped and trailed down his cheeks, puddling on the pillow beneath his head. He gasped suddenly in surprise, his eyes snapping open, as he felt Cullen’s mouth cover his in a gentle kiss.

“Dorian, what’s wrong?” Cullen whispered against his lips as he stroked a hand across Dorian’s cheek.

“Cullen… I…” He tried to force out the words, but his throat was too constricted with anguish. _I’m supposed to be so eloquent with words…_ He rolled onto his side and hid his face against Cullen’s strong chest, his body trembling violently as he cried.

Cullen held him close and stroked his back soothingly. “Shhh, Dorian. It’s alright, I’m here. Take your time. You know you can tell me anything.”

When the sobs began to subside, Dorian pulled back slightly, his cheeks flushed with embarrassment, his eyes puffy from crying. Cullen pressed another soft kiss to Dorian’s lips in encouragement. “I’m just not used to this. In Tevinter, what happened between two men was strictly for pleasure. You took what you wanted from the other, then you went your separate ways. You learned not to expect anything more. But this… the reason I was so hesitant to stay the night is because I’ve never fallen asleep in a lover’s bed. No one has ever wanted me to stay. I’m not sure I’ve ever wanted to stay, because I never felt anything more than a fleeting affection for those men. With you, though… I’ve never felt this way before. You make me happier than I ever thought I could be, than I thought I deserved to be. You make me want to become a better person and help make positive changes to this world. I am struggling with this because I don’t know how to feel this way. Cullen… I think I’m in love with you, and I’m terrified.” _I’m terrified that this is all just a dream, that I will wake up soon and remember just how alone I am, that he doesn’t feel the same way about me. What have I done? I shouldn’t have said anything…_

Cullen’s tender smile melted Dorian’s heart. “Dorian, please don’t be afraid. You don’t give yourself enough credit, and neither does anyone else. You risked your life to warn us about Corypheus and even stayed to help defeat him with barely a word of thanks. You already are a good person. You’re stronger than you know. You have the most caring and selfless heart, and I wish that others could see that. Your beauty, intelligence, wit, charm, and magical prowess are simply breathtaking. I don’t know how I became lucky enough to catch your attention and gain your affection, but I will forever be grateful that I did. I love you too, and I can’t imagine my life without you.”

Dorian’s eyes brimmed with tears once more. “I’ve never had anyone say that to me. It’s… an incredible feeling.” _I never thought I was worthy of love…_

“Get used to it. You will have to hear it for the rest of our lives.” Cullen kissed away the fresh tears, whispering “I love you” after each one. He then moved his lips down to capture Dorian’s in a long, passionate kiss.

“The things you say,” Dorian murmured with a smile, settling against Cullen’s chest with a contented sigh. He was finally relaxed enough to feel tendrils of sleep pulling at him, and he felt himself beginning to drift off. In this bed, in Cullen’s arms, he finally felt safe, loved, important. He finally felt like he belonged.


End file.
